Naturopathy for Beginners

One of my darling internet friends made the mistake of asking me what it is that naturopaths actually do. This is what I told her [every word true].

"I would dissect your life in intimate detail [biopsychosocial, the works] and wring every millilitre of honesty out of you about where you are and how you got there.

Then I would fuck with your diet and your lifestyle and subject you to often foul-tasting medications to try and get you and your body to be doing the things you know you and your body want to do but aren't currently, for whatever reason/s.

Now this process can be easy or, um, not easy, depending upon where you're at and how much you want to be in the better place."

I suspect this is why my melbourne friend Fornika Fornika [yes that's her real name] refers to me as her Witch Doctor.